


Pains of the Paranoid

by pupeez4eva



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Post-lawsuit, Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 17:57:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2630903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pupeez4eva/pseuds/pupeez4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going on a date when you're paranoid about getting caught by the media, crazed fans, or - worst of all - SM, doesn't tend to be the most enjoyable experience. Somehow, Yoochun and Changmin make it work. Post-Lawsuit</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pains of the Paranoid

The car was dead silent and, even though Yoochun desperately wanted to deny it, awkward as _hell._ Changmin stared out the window of the passenger seat, a frown plastered across his face. It seemed to be a permanent fixture. Yoochun thought back to the days of lop-sided smiles and mismatched eyes, and felt like the biggest idiot in the world.

He’d lost his shit somewhere along the way. If he was completely sane then why, for the love of God, had he waited until _now_ ask the maknae out? He could have had the adorable Hug-era Changmin, or the still-adorable-but-sexy Rising Sun era Changmin. Hell even the what-the-fuck-did-they-do-to-your-hair Tri-Angle era Changmin would have been a better alternative. Instead, he’d gotten the moody, I-probably-despise-Yoochun’s-soul, post-lawsuit Changmin…and all he could think was _why._ For the love of God, _why?!_

To be completely honest, Yoochun had fallen for Changmin from the moment he had caught sight of the younger male, with his adorable mismatched eyes, and his lopsided smile, and his pre-debut boyband-esque hair. He’d been wholly ready to ask the younger out, and he would have, if those demons (those damn overprotective _demons_ ) hadn’t gotten to him first.

_(Flashback)_

_“Hey Jaejoong?”_

_Jaejoong glanced up, a smile stretching across his face. Yoochun grinned back, feeling relaxed — it was a nice feeling, considering the fact that, when he’d first met Jaejoong, he’d been 99.9% sure the elder would be one of those cold, bitchy types, that made you want to sink through the floorboards and saw off your oversized forehead._

_“I need to ask you something,” Yoochun told him. Jaejoong nodded his head, motioning for him to continue. Yoochun hesitated for a moment, but then those mismatched eyes flashed through his mind, and he pushed forward._

_“Just out of curiosity,” he said, “if someone was to…ask Changmin out…how do you think he would react?” To Yoochun, Changmin was just too damn innocent to be dating anyone (of course, this was before the evil maknae within had taken over)._

_Jaejoong blinked. “Oh, I don’t think they’d have to worry about Changmin’s answer.”_

_“No?” Yoochun almost sighed in relief._

_“No - they’d have to worry about ME.”_

_“…What?”_

_“I’d DESTROY them!” Jaejoong’s eyes flashed with a look Yoochun had only ever seen in horror movies. “I’d tear them apart, and make sure the last thing they saw was the sheer HATRED in my eyes!”_

_Yoochun could only stare, and stutter out a small, “um…sorry?”_

_Jaejoong took a deep, shuddering breath. “What can I say? He’s my baby. No one’s allowed to take away his innocence.”_

_“Yeah but - huh?!” Yoochun struggled to get his words out. Sweet Jesus, maybe his first assumptions about the elder hadn’t been far off. “Isn’t it up to Changmin?”_

_“What part of ‘he’s my baby’ do you NOT understand?” Jaejoong growled, his eyes flashing dangerously. “Why are you asking these questions, Yoochun? Do you by any chance…know of anyone thinking of defiling my baby?!”_

_“Uh - no.” Yoochun took a step backwards, avoiding Jaejoong’s piercing gaze. “Of course not. Who would want to defile Changmin? He’s way too innocent.”_

_…_

_“Do you reckon Changmin is looking to date?” Yoochun asked Yunho, as the elder gulped down large mouthfuls of water. “Just - you know. He’s the youngest, and he’s still a kid, so we should talk to him about this stuff, right?”_

_Yunho set the bottle down. “No.”_

_Yoochun blinked. “Uh - no to what?”_

_“No, Changmin is not ready to date,” Yunho replied simply. “And if anyone tries, I will break their nose.”_

_He walked off._

_Yoochun silently touched his nose, shuddering heavily._

_(End flashback)_

It wasn’t just the YunJae psychopaths that had scared him off — there were a multitude of reasons (and Yoochun _really_ liked his nose). Either way, he’d chickened out, and had spent years silently pining after Changmin. And now, after all those years, he finally had a date with Changmin, and he couldn’t help but wonder why the younger had even said yes. Yoochun wasn’t the best at reading people, but he didn’t think the frown on Changmin’s face meant that he was enjoying himself very much.

“So, where are we going again?”

Yoochun whirled around, his eyes wide. Then he remembered that he was driving, and he jerked his eyes back to the road.

“I thought we could see a movie or something,” he said, feeling Changmin’s eyes boring into him. He chewed on his lip nervously.

“Sure, why not,” Changmin said softly. Yoochun let out a sigh of relief.

The car was once again silent.

Yoochun risked another glance at Changmin, and saw the younger staring ahead at the empty road. He’d grown up a lot, and Yoochun couldn’t help but appreciate that little fact. He’d had the same thought weeks earlier, when he’d met up with the maknae for the first time after the lawsuit. He’d look even better if he smiled, Yoochun thought, but Changmin just didn’t seem to do that much anymore.

Again, Yoochun couldn’t help but wonder why Changmin had agreed to come tonight.

“Is Yunho still threatening to break my nose?” Yoochun blurted out.

Changmin stared at him, his brow furrowed. “Wait, what?”

“Well, not mine specifically, but a couple of years ago, he said he’d break the nose of anyone who tried to date you…” Yoochun let his voice trail off. “…You know, I probably shouldn’t have told you that.”

“Haven’t really had time to date,” Changmin replied, shrugging his shoulders. “What about you?”

“Nah, not really,” Yoochun replied. “I was still hung up on you.” He paused, his eyes widening as he realised exactly what he had said. “…That sounded weird and stalkerish, didn’t it? I take it back. I just didn’t get around to it - ”

“Hyung?”

Yoochun took a deep breath. “Yes?”

“Calm the _fuck_ down.” Changmin shook his head. “It’s just me — you know, Changmin? You’re dongsaeng?”

Yoochun shot Changmin an awkward grin. “We’re here,” he said. He pulled up on the side of the road, and parked the car. He and Changmin sat in silence for a moment.

As Yoochun stared out of the window at the crowds of bustling people, a thought suddenly came to him — and boy, he wondered why he’d been such an _idiot_ as to not realise it before.

Changmin reached out, ready to grasp the door handle, but Yoochun hurriedly stopped him. Changmin shot him an inquisitive glance. “What?”

“We can’t go out there,” Yoochun exclaimed. “Look at how many people there are! Someone would see us for sure.”

Changmin glanced out the window and sighed. “I didn’t bring a hoodie, or a cap,” he muttered. “Too bad. Maybe we can go to a cafe or something?”

“No, no!” Yoochun shook his head. “I brought you here, it’s only fair that I — is that someone from SM?!”

“Huh?” Changmin squinted, trying to get a better look.

“That - that person over there!” Yoochun frantically gestured. “Are they from SM?”

“Uh - no? Maybe? Let me see - ”

“Don’t get out of the car!” Yoochun hissed. “What if they see you?!”

Changmin frowned. “Hyung, I don’t think - ”

The car jerked forward.

“Hyung!” Changmin yelled, his eyes wide. “What the fuck?!”

“They were looking this way!” Yoochun told him, his voice tinged with alarm. “Crap, what if they saw us?!”

Changmin rolled his eyes, leaning back against his seat. “I don’t think that was anyone we knew,” he replied. “Calm down and let me put my seatbelt back on.”

“God, Changmin, the last thing we need is crazy SM people chasing us around all night,” Yoochun muttered, his hands gripping the steering wheel.

“…I’m from SM, hyung.”

“Well, yes, but - anyway, the point is, we avoided a near mishap, huh?” Yoochun let out a relieved laugh.

“I just _said_ it wasn’t anyone we know,” Changmin muttered, before letting out a loud sigh. “Hyung, if you want to go somewhere quiet, I might know a good cafe…”

…

“No.”

“What do you mean no?” Changmin demanded, shooting Yoochun an annoyed glance.

“Look at that place!” Yoochun retorted, frantically gesturing at the little cafe. “It’s packed! We’ll be recognised straight away!”

“It’s packed with old _ajummas!”_ Changmin snapped. “They’re not going to know who we are!”

“Oh, you’d be surprised Changmin,” Yoochun told him, his voice grave.

Changmin’s jaw clenched. “They won’t care! What are they supposed to do, take a picture?! They probably don’t even own cell phones! They probably don’t know what a cell phone _is!”_

“I think I might know a good place.”

“Hyung, _this is the third cafe we have driven to!”_

Yoochun sighed he turned on the engine, and felt the car move forward. _‘Oh, I definitely should have gone for Hug-era Changmin,’_ he thought mournfully.

…

“Damn, it’s packed,” Yoochun muttered.

Changmin clenched his jaw.

Yoochun glanced sideways, catching a glimpse of the glaring irritation on Changmin’s face. He swallowed, and looked away.

“Hyung, I think maybe we should just go home,” the maknae muttered.

“No, no!” Yoochun said hurriedly. “Look, there’s a park over there - maybe we can just, you know, sit down and talk or something.”

Changmin opened his mouth, looking like he wanted to protest, but then closed it and shrugged his shoulders. “Fine, whatever.”

The two walked over in silence. Yoochun nudged Changmin’s shoulder, a small smile on his face. “This is nice, right?”

“Sure.” Changmin didn’t even blink.

“Uh…” Well, Yoochun definitely had to salvage the situation somehow. “…Look! The stars! They’re nice, right? Pretty stars…”

He mentally slapped himself.

“Yup,” Changmin replied, emotionlessly.

“Min, you look pissed,” Yoochun sighed.

“I’m not,” Changmin grunted.

“Really?” Yoochun raised his eyebrows. “Because you do. Look pissed, I mean. Almost as pissed as when Jaejoong stole your first kiss.”

Changmin gaped at him. _“Why_ did you have to mention that _now?!”_ he spluttered in disbelief.

Yoochun shrugged (because, to be completely honest, he didn’t know _what_ he was doing). “Because it made me almost as pissed as it made you,” Yoochun told him. There was a brief pause; Changmin stared at him, looking slightly confused. Since anything was better than the previous anger, Yoochun took it as an encouraging sign, and decided to continue. “I was jealous. I wished it was me. Jaejoong should have just stuck with Yunho — that damn manwhore.”

Changmin let out a small laugh. Yoochun felt a burst of confidence, and decided to see how long his luck would last.

“But of course, I was always your favourite hyung, right?” Yoochun grinned. “So who could resist - wait, no. Fuck, Yunho was probably your favourite hyung, right? Since you stayed with - ” Okay, maybe mentioning the breakup was a bad, bad, _bad_ idea. Yoochun decided to change the topic.

“…The stars!”

He wasn't very good at changing topics.

Changmin looked incredibly amused. “Hyung - ”

“They’re pretty,” Yoochun told him. “Like…you!” Changmin shook his head in disbelief. Yoochun grinned, deciding that all this word-vomit was working in his favour after all. “Yeah! Yeah, all shiny and small - not that you’re small or anything - not like that! I meant that you’re tall! You’re - ”

“Hyung, I have no idea what you’re saying,” Changmin said, laughing.

Yoochun shrugged. “I don’t know either,” he told the maknae. “I figured word-vomit was my best hope of getting you to smile.”

Changmin smirked.

Yoochun’s eyes widened.

“Fuck - Cassiopeia!”

“Still talking about the stars, hyung?” Changmin questioned, his eyebrows raising. Yoochun shook his head rapidly, his eyes wide with alarm.

“No - there! _Cassiopeia!”_

A crowd of girls ran towards them at a terrifying speed. Changmin took an alarmed step backwards, and Yoochun resisted the urge to hide behind him.

“Do they look like they have cameras?!” Changmin demanded, his eyes wide.

Yoochun swallowed. “Oh shit, they - ”

The girls ran straight past them. Yoochun and Changmin dived out of the way to avoid being caught in the stampede.

“Hurry up!” they heard one of the girls scream. “We’re going to miss our train!”

There was a moment of silence as the crowd disappeared into the night.

“…So, not crazy fangirls then,” Changmin murmured, his shoulders slumping in relief. He let out a small laugh. “That - that was lucky.”

Yoochun, on the other hand, was unmoving. He took a deep breath, and nodded towards the car. “Let’s go back,” he murmured.

“Let’s stay here!” Changmin argued. “It’s actually really nice.”

Yoochun shook his head, a frown plastered across his face. “Maybe we can just hang out in the car or something.”

Changmin stared at him for a long moment. “Sure,” he said at last, rolling his eyes. “If that’s what you want.”

“…Changmin?” Yoochun’s brow furrowed.

Changmin ignored him and walked towards the car.

“You look mad,” Yoochun told him, as Changmin opened the door to the passenger seat of the car.

Changmin shrugged. “Well, it’s a strange feeling, being someone’s dirty little secret.” He laughed, although there was no humour in his tone. “Anyway, do you think you could just drop me back at my dorm?”

Yoochun stared at him.

“Hyung?” Changmin pressed.

Ignoring his inquiry, Yoochun reached out and latched onto Changmin’s arm, before dragging him forward. Changmin let out an alarmed, confused yelp.

“You’re right,” Yoochun told the younger, his eyes focused ahead. “I’m being an asshole right now, aren’t I? I mean, I ask you out, and then I drag you from place to place - god, this has probably been the shittiest piece of shit. I’m sorry. Fuck, I’ve been so paranoid, and I’m sorry, god.”

Changmin gaped at him, stunned. “Where are we going?” he managed to choke out.

“There! That cafe!” Yoochun told him, nodding at the building — the very one he had previously rejected for being too ‘packed’. “Who cares if it’s full, and people will probably see us — I don’t care. I’ll scream it to the rooftop if I have to. I’m on a date with Shim Changmin after _years_ of pining, and I am _LOVING_ it! You hear me?!”

Changmin’s eyes widened in alarm. “Wait,” he protested, “hyung, don’t — this is bad — ”

Yoochun ignored him. “Shim Changmin,” he said, his voice unwavering, “you are _no one’s_ dirty little secret. The only thing that is secret is how long I’ve loved you — ”

Changmin was too preoccupied with his horror to notice Yoochun’s little declaration of love. He struggled against the elder’s strong grip. “Hyung,” he pleaded, “don’t — just wait, hyung, _please — ”_

“I’ll go there right now,” Yoochun continued, “and who cares if SM tracks me down and castrates me?! I’ll — ”

Changmin threw himself forward in a single, jerky movement, and smashed his lips against Yoochun’s.

Yoochun froze.

He then proceeded to kiss back, because, well, why _wouldn’t_ he? Changmin was kissing him. _Changmin_ was _kissing_ him. Changmin. _Changmin._ Oh god, was that tongue? Yes, that was tongue - _Changmin’s_ tongue. And _Changmin’s_ lips. And — and — oh god, he didn’t even know what the hell he was doing anymore, and his brain was just screaming at him to keep kissing, and to forget about stupid things like oxygen —

He probably would have continued until one or both of them had passed out if the sound of a car horn hadn’t startled them out of their trance.

Both males jumped out of the way, flushed and breathless.

“Yeah, that’s right!” Yoochun yelled as the vehicle drove past, “we’re Yoochun and Chang — ”

Changmin slapped a hand over his mouth.

Yoochun swallowed when the younger pulled away. “Not going to kiss me again?” he asked, his cheeks flushed.

“Shut up,” Changmin grumbled, looking embarrassed. “I — I needed to stop you somehow.” He nodded towards a nearby alley, which was a few meters away from the cafe. “Let’s go over there. I doubt anyone will see us.”

Yoochun nodded, because he doubted he’d be able to articulate any real words. Both he and Changmin wandered over. Yoochun briefly considered holding the maknae’s hand, but he decided not to push his luck (besides, nothing could beat the feeling of a kiss from _Shim Changmin_ ).

As they stepped into the alley, they were immediately greeted by the lovely sight of two half-naked men.

“Uh…” Yoochun stuttered, taking a step backwards. One of the males glanced upwards, and blinked owlishly when they realised they were being watched.

“Okay, you guys can have your turn,” he told them, before walking off. His…friend followed him.

There was a long pause.

“…Uh, that — ”

“Yeah…” Yoochun coughed.

And, another pause.

“So,” Yoochun said at last, “you — uh — ” He made kissing motions with his lips.

Changmin snorted. “Don’t do that hyung, you look pathetic,” he muttered. He looked frazzled. “Look, I told you I needed to stop you somehow.”

“Well it worked,” Yoochun responded, flushing at the memory. “So you, uh, kissed me…” He was unable to hide the smile that slowly stretched across his lips. “That…that’s a good sign, right?”

“I don’t know,” Changmin replied, avoiding his gaze. “I mean, Jaejoong-hyung kissed me once, but it didn’t mean anything.”

Yoochun stared.

“…It meant something,” Changmin mumbled.

With those words, Yoochun felt his heart shatter. “I always knew YunJae was just a cover,” he choked, feeling his eyes sting (call him overly-dramatic, but he was seriously in love here!). “It was JaeMin all the way, right?”

Changmin slapped his palm to his forehead. “I was talking about our kiss! I kissed you, yes, to stop you, but also because I like you!”

“…Oh.” Yoochun nodded. “Wow. Okay.”

Changmin smiled, embarrassed. “Although, I have to be truthful hyung — this date has been an absolute disaster.”

“I know,” Yoochun sighed. “I’m sorry about that. I wanted this to be perfect, but I just kept freaking out. You know what SM is like - they’re _everywhere._ I was scared about what would happen if they found out.”

“I understand,” Changmin replied, nodding. “It’d have bad repercussions for you.”

“I was worried about what _you_ would do,” Yoochun replied. “If they found out about us, and told you to stay away, I might never see you again.” Yoochun averted his gaze, chewing on his lip. “You chose them over me before, right?”

Silence.

“…That really didn’t come out right.”

Changmin’s shoulders slumped. “Hyung — ”

“No, no!” Yoochun shook his head rapidly. “That came out _horribly!_ Changmin, oh god, what I’m trying to say is — well, I’ve had feelings for you for _years_ now. And then, with this stupid lawsuit, and the breakup…I thought I’d never see you again. When we met up last week, I was so happy, but it was still so different. When I asked you to go out with me, I never expected you to agree, because you still seemed so angry — ”

“Yoochun hyung — ”

“ — but you _did,_ and I finally had a chance to make things up to you, and have you in my life again — oh god, I’m just so scared that something will ruin this, and I won’t ever see you again — ”

Changmin kissed him.

“…Are you just going to keep kissing me to shut me up?” Yoochun whispered when the two had pulled apart.

Changmin ignored his statement, and stared at him, his gaze unwavering. “Hyung, I get it,” he told him. “I wasn’t angry at you. I was distant because…well, I was _afraid._ Things were so difficult after the lawsuit. I kept thinking, _‘what if things don’t work out, and I have to deal with that pain all over again?’_ When you called me last week and asked if we could meet up, I was happy hyung — but I was so scared. And then, you go and ask me on a _date_ — I almost said no, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do it, hyung.”

Yoochun rubbed his palms against Changmin’s arms, his movements slow and soothing.

“When you said I chose SM over you — you know it wasn’t like that, right?”

Changmin’s voice sounded so soft, so fragile. Yoochun swallowed, and rested his forehead against the maknae’s. “I know. I know.” He swallowed. “I just don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t,” Changmin replied, firmly. “SM may think they’re good, but they didn’t call us the Rising Gods of the East for nothing.” His lips curved into a smile, and he pulled away slightly. “You should kiss me hyung,” he said teasingly. “I’ve been doing all the kissing so far, and if you’re not careful, I might get the wrong idea.”

Yoochun laughed. “I love you, Changmin,” he murmured, and then kissed the maknae on the lips before he could respond. Changmin responded immediately, his arms wrapping around Yoochun. Yoochun’s grip tightened on the maknae’s waist.

“We’re sitting in an alleyway,” Yoochun murmured against Changmin’s lips.

Changmin shrugged lightly. “I’m not high maintenance,” he replied teasingly. He snuggled against Yoochun, and the elder laughed softly. He nuzzled Changmin’s cheek lightly, and Changmin shifted so that his lips were once against pressed against Yoochun’s.

“I love you too,” the maknae added after he had pulled back. “…Oh _fuck_ , was that a rat?!”

_“WHAT?!”_ Yoochun jerked away, and his sharp movement sent Changmin tumbling to the floor. _“WHERE?!”_

“I take it back!” Changmin cried, scrambling to his feet. “I’m high maintenance! Now let’s go back to the car!”

The two raced forward, shoving past each other in their attempts to reach their destination as fast as possible.


End file.
